You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
