Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My legs feel like baby dolphins
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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