I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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