I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
they need to just BURY HIM!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
