Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She announced her abortion via fbk
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
