No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
