Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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