I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
