If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
