I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I had to cum in my sink.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
