If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
