So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
