There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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