oh god the rape fog is back!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
