It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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