Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
