How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
