i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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