there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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