I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He shit in the fireplace
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
