dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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