It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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