i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
