at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
