I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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