I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
