Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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