I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
