Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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