He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
