This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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