I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
