a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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