That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
