Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
