I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
