I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
