mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This is my gift to your gina
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
