I bet he comes in French.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
