And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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