TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
