he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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