i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
