There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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