I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Two words: blizzard sex
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we should paint friendship bongs
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