I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
