Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
