420 ftw
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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