THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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