Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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