So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
