My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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