so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
